LONG DISTANCE

In the mid 1980’s my sister, then 18, got herself a British Passport, jumped on a plane and took off to live and work in England for two years. In the 1980’s England was a long, long way away. Still is, in a geographical sense. Our only communication with her was the old fashioned way, letter writing, with an occasional phone call thrown in for good measure. 

my sister and my daughter
just before my sister took off overseas for the 3rd or 4th time
don't remember which

During those two years I wrote to her often; long, long, long letters. Some of them up to around 20 pages. All of them on A4 note book pages. None of them proofed or spell checked. It was the only way we could stay in touch.

By the time my sister had completed her third or fourth stint of working abroad, I have lost count, the letter writing had completely disappeared. It had been replaced by emails and, for the last trip, texting. We had also stopped calling her. There was no need. An email was an almost instantaneous connection to her. I would press send and a couple of days later there would be a reply. No muss. No fuss. Suddenly the other side of the world didn't feel so far away.

oOo

In February my husband and I drove our daughter to the airport. My parents and my sister and her friends met us there before her flight was due to leave. There were chocolates and smiles and photos and conversations and laughter and jokes and coffee and the checking of watches and plans discussed. And there was tension.  Unspoken tension. Our daughter was about to get on a plane to LA. Not for a holiday, but to live. To live, get married, work, make a home, start a new life, all thousands of kilometres away, on the other side of the world. So there were also tears.

my daughter and my mum saying goodbye

I will admit to being apprehensive. I will also admit to not really knowing how I would deal with this new reality in my life. Our daughter, our only daughter, our only child, living in another country on the other side of the world. I didn't know how to deal with this and if I am honest, I was really scared. Scared that we would lose touch, that I would never have the closeness we share again, that she would become a stranger to me. Scared of the complete unknown of having a child move to another country.

Three weeks later.

The internet is a wonderful thing, even with all its issues, problems and flaws. It is a truly magical thing. And it is not like I haven’t discovered this before. I have been in the thick of the internet since its inception. Back when modems sang to you when you logged on. When you couldn't use the phone because the modem and the phone line was the same line. When downloading a page sometime took so long you could get up, get a coffee, come back and it would be still downloading. When you only had a megabyte of download because that was all you needed. When you didn't know how much download you had because that was all you needed. I still marvel at the internet, not just what it can do but how small it makes the world. And because of it how close we are all now.

My daughter has settled into her new life in LA. Not quite an American yet, but she is working on that. All those fears and worries that I had about the distance have vanished into thin air. Into the web to be exact. We Skype, Facebook, email and message so regularly that it is like she still lives just 50 minutes away, not a 13 hour flight away. The time difference can be a little tricky. Morning for us, is afternoon for her. Afternoon the day before to be exact. A clock set for LA time sorts that out. If anything we are more in touch now because we make an effort. The distance has spurred us to not be complacent about our relationship. In fact I have begun to worry that we are being a little too eager to stay connected.

Technology can be a pain at times. But right now it is a blessing for me. Without it I would be writing 40 A4 pages every eight weeks, waiting at the letter box with the response and getting a second mortgage of the house for the six monthly phone calls to the U.S. 

I have a lot of things to be grateful in my life. My family, my good health, my lifestyle, but right now the thing I am most grateful for is the technology we have that allows me to stay connected with my daughter all the way on the other side of the world.

To the Geeks in Silicon Valley, I salute you.